The great unmasking:

Hi dear one, I cant read you.

people I just dont like. but I also noticed that there are some folks I can really appreciate but I deeply struggle to read them.

the people that I can read can read me too.

i have time and space synthesa which literally means that I can walk through my memories like perusing the scene for a second and looking at everything from different sides to understand more what actually happened and what made me so uncomfortable. Ofc this is entirely subjective! It did help to make me see more clearly what it was that hurled me or confused me in the situation (even if my memory was different to reality).

my memory is wicked. The most necessary things dont stick how much I try to glue them into my front lobe. Though what did stick were a lot of social interactions and informations that I thought were necessary for me to survive that environment. Even though I had very little interest in boys or any relationship in general I was very aware of how people were in relation to each other, who was friends with whom.-

Because of that I could have been a good candidate for gossip girl besides the fact that I couldn't care less too.

I still sometimes have to remind me nowadays that it doesnt interest me that much to know every detail of other folks life, as something in me is ready to write everything down.

Some of these things are from first grade. I have put a lot of mental energy in trying to delete them., no that I am 100% I wont need them anymore. Though they just stick.

like these files on my laptop that are somehow undetectable that even after I tried to put everything on my external hard drive, I still have files no where to be found.

In These files there is not just information as what folks said and what they did and what they like and dont and .,.,,,

but a lot of it is also information on how someone reacts to something. How their eyebrose raise slightly, or the different sighs,

I hope I still have friends after writing all of this ahaha!!!!

So I guess it wont surprise you that much that I felt quite confident in being able to read people. Until I realised that some people I just cant read. It's not that I dont like them or that I dont want to. It's really as if something just doesnt add up.

That being said I think that the folks that I can read well also can read me well. So I assume that those that I struggle to read might struggle to read me too.

make my nervous system run on alert and my anxiety inducing.

I have met several people who were quite anxious about me

kind of language barrier. that we have to translate